11 Mei 2014

Just Some Thoughts

I try to not take this too serious, and I'm not a trusted counselor, but... you know, I used to feel like, "Oh God, what I suppose to do with my life," I got out off the bed and suddenly I felt like I was so exhausted ever since. I felt tired of seeing the same people and doing the same thing everyday, yes, I felt that once. It was like the laziest moments I've ever had.

I used to be in the position where I felt that I was a living-dead, like a zombie, it's just that I'm glad (and pretty sure) I don't look that bad compare to the television's version of zombies. I felt like... I live but not alive. See, like, you know... every morning I wake up and then face the same routines and then time just fly away, and suddenly it's night, and sleep again, and welcome to the next day. Friday is a TGIF moment, but somehow it makes no different. Weekends, also the same. Everyone's busy with their own business, I mean my friends (especially "my friends"). So... I felt like I live, but my soul is... I don't know, it was having holiday somewhere, but it was just not inside me, I mean, the body.

The point is, I used to be in a position where every morning I tend to say "damn" instead of "good morning". It was horrible, I mean, I didn't enjoy my life at that time... for several months. I thought like... this world didn't understand me. But actually, it was me who didn't try to understand this world. This world is actually not a bad place to live if we see it from different perspectives. We see those zombie guys on TV and they areof coursenot good looking at all, but we know that it's make up, a mask, and behind that mask is an actor which is 100% got much better look than the zombie character he played. So, finally, it's the matter of perspective.

So, finally, I know and did realize that I need to and have to get up. I mean, really "get up" and do something. I need to get my "life" back, and it's only ourselves who really know what we need to do. In my case, I tried to rethink what was my dream, what was my vision, what did I really want.

Indeed, it took some time to finally get "the feeling" back (the soul). But, you are the captain of your own live. You can choose whether to keep questioning or move on to find the answer you need, to get what you truly need in this life. You've got your own decision. It's only us who know what we need. But sometimes the mind makes skepticism and the heart trusts the mind too much and finally we make our own "wall" in our mind, something that limits our will...

However, when we've been too lazy with our routines, it will be very hard to fight it, yet it's still possible to win it back. All we need is our spirit and our vision of what we really want to do and to be...

Have you ever questioned what is the meaning of this life? I mean, like, ok, I'm in my 20s, go to college and then graduate, and then find a (good) jobhopefully with good salaryand there's a big probability that we will do it till we... old (and some people even die because of working--this is horrible). I mean, even until now, I'm still questioning this. This is very complicated. Sometimes people may think, "Why do you question this? Just do it, this is the flow," or like, "You study, study hard, so you can make good money in the future." But I don't think it answered the question. If it's all about to have a wealthy life, and if the standard of having a wealthy life is measured by how much money we can get, it will be very frustrated; too exhausted, to live everyday's life like that even if we have passion on it. Totally stressful.

So, yes, the goal. There must be something that makes us want to wake up in the morning, where we will feel better, less tired, and passionate to face the day. But sometimes "the journey" to find this thing; this feel, it's very complicated.

I think all people are scared to live a life that they don't want to, but somehow they can't define the life they really want. I mean, I don't want to be this, yet I have no idea what I want to be--many people like this. So, the thing is, we have to define and reflect our own life. When we know what we want to be in the future, then we have to fight for it. This is our life, if not us who fight for it, then who will? People have been too busy and crazy with this world's problem, it's only us who can fight for our dreams...

You know, this world is a huge place where there's always possibilities to meet people who think like the way we think. And thank to the internet, it makes life much easier (somehow, lazier, LOL9GAG is just too addictive).

So, what's your passion? What is your biggest dreams? It may not easy an journey to get what we want, it may take years like Carl and Ellie on Up movie who wanted to live in South America, and probably we may struggle with that just like how Ted finally met the mother (see, I watch too much)lots of trouble, but that's the dream, and it's worth to fight for.

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